Clothes shopping with Mrs F_IV...

[Feathered_IV]

Ugh, I'd rather be anywhere else right now than standing awkwardly outside a ladies change room, holding a women's handbag. Seriously, is there nowhere I can sit down???

[Feathered_IV]

Honestly, would it kill them to put in a chair?

Heaps of mirrors though. Huge ones.

On a side note; Do vampires have a problem with walking into large mirrors?

 

"The bridge is out, you will have to spend the..."

**smack!**

"Ow!! My toof!"

 

The mind rather wanders at times like these.

[Feathered_IV]

Found a seat! But it's got a mannequin in it.

 

Denied.

[Feathered_IV]

On second thoughts...  She probably needs it more than I do.

 

[Sternjaeger]

well think about the times when we didn't even have mobile phones   

[Allons]

1. Take the seat and place her on your lap then ask the staff for a nice photo..

2. Withstand the idea of making funny noises..

 

Edited January 6, 2014 by Stab/ZG26-Allons

[Jaws2002]

hahaha. We've all been there.

 

http://thechive.com/2013/12/30/guys-waiting-for-girls-weve-all-been-there-30-photos/

[Feathered_IV]

Mrs F_IV seemed a bit put out at first that I was so bored.  She nodded understandingly and brightened somewhat when I informed her that if I were actually excited by the prospect of shopping for ladies clothing, she would have much more cause to worry. 

[Trident_109]

Yesterday my dear wife received the following letter from the local Walmart.

 

Dear Mrs. Woolf,

Over the past six months, your husband has caused quite a commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and have been forced to ban both of you from the store. Our complaints against your husband, Mr. Woolf, are listed below and are “documented by our video surveillance cameras”:

 

1. June 15: He took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in other people’s carts when they weren’t looking.

 

2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.

 

3. July 7: He made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the women’s restroom.

 

4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official voice, ‘Code 3 in Housewares. Get on it right away’. This caused the employee to leave her assigned station and receive a reprimand from her Supervisor that in turn resulted in management getting involved causing management to lose time and costing the company money.

 

5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to reserve a bag of chips.

 

6. August 14: Moved a ‘CAUTION – WET FLOOR’ sign to a carpeted area.

 

7. August 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told the children shoppers they could come in if they would bring pillows and blankets from the bedding department – to which twenty children obliged.

 

8. August 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him he began crying and screamed, ‘Why can’t you people just leave me alone?’ Emergency Medics were called.

 

9. September 4: Looked right into the security camera and used it as a mirror while he picked his nose

 

10. September 10: While handling guns in the Sports department, he asked the clerk where the antidepressants were.

 

11. October 3: Darted around the Store suspiciously while loudly humming the ‘ Mission Impossible’ theme.

 

12. October 6: In the auto department, he practiced his ‘Madonna look’ by using different sizes of funnels.

 

13. October 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed through, yelled ‘PICK ME! PICK ME!’

 

14. October 22: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumed the fetal position and screamed ‘OH NO! IT’S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!

 

15. Took a box of condoms to the checkout clerk and asked where the fitting room was.

 

And last, but not least:

16. October 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile, and then yelled very loudly, ‘Hey! There’s no toilet paper     in here.’ One of the Staff passed out.

 

I wonder if I’ll have to go along on many more shopping trips?