A question for our French friends...

[Feathered_IV]

Ever since the days of the old Ubi forums, the flight sim community is the first place I turn to when I need to know something and I need it right. 

 

I'm hoping I can get a bit of grammatical assistance for a couple of pieces of metalwork I'm doing at the moment.  These will be two pieces of jewellery for an exhibition that is running over here in just over a week's time.   The subject is Jean Jacques Bourcart's drawings on ornithopers which dates back to 1886.

 

http://www.loc.gov/item/2002736613/

 

Below is a quick wip shot, as of 8pm this evening.  The majority of the engraving into the silver is done.  Next I need to add a bit of text that links them to the original drawing. 

Sooo...  Here's my question:  Is it gramatically correct to have ailes se mouvant "moving wings" on one, and  aérien "air" on the other as shown, or should it be spelt or phrased differently?   From what I can tell I think it is correct, but really want to be sure before potentially ruining more hours work than I care to mention. 

 

If any French speaking community member can assist I'd be very grateful indeed.  The deadline for getting them finished is looming fast!

 

 

[JG300_Olrik]

"Ailes se mouvant" is the right translation but is not the usual way to say what it means. I'd rather say "Ailes en mouvement " or even more "mouvement des ailes".

For second one I'm not sure to understand the real sense of the draw.

What do think others French people now ?

Edited August 23, 2015 by F/JG300_Touch

[coconut]

"aérien" is an adjective, "air" is a noun. I don't know which forms of the English "air" word you mean to use. As for "moving wings", I'm with @@F/JG300_Touch

[Feathered_IV]

Thanks guys.  I really appreciate you having a look.  The text on the original drawing reads, Ailes se mouvant dans l'air.  The other drawing is a diagram of what the 19th century author thought air would do over a wing.  I'd hoped to engrave the author's text as it is, but if you think it would look strange I can certainly change it or go for something else.

[jeanba]

Ailes se mouvant dans l'air = Wing moving in the air

 

..rien : "aerial" would fit in the context

[JG300_Olrik]

The whole text "Ailes se mouvant dans l'air " is correct, rather than "Ailes se mouvant ". And it sounds 19th century style.

According to your description , I understand the second draw as the airflow round the wings. So "aérien " is not correct. I would say "flux de l'air " or "écoulement de l'air ". I'm not sure this the shortest translation.

[Feathered_IV]

Excellent, thanks so much. I'm really glad I asked before going ahead. Mouvement des ailes will be the go I think.

[snowsnipersnow_sniper]

"battement d'aile" could be a right translation

but your original choice " aile se mouvant" et "aérien" seems more poetic and romantic and unatended .  wich could be your first choice a good choice for jowelery. ;-)

 

"mouvement des ailes" is quite less poetic and romantic, maybe good for an encyclopedic academic description.

 

but if your goal is to make an english description of the original french text it should be :

 

"flapping wings" and "aerial breath"

Edited August 24, 2015 by snowsnipersnow_sniper

[Reflected]

Although I'm not a native speaker, I would translate "ailes se mouvant" as "wings in the process of moving themselves" - if I wanted to translate word-by word. It does sound very old-school, though.