Flight Sims vs Family & private life

[Reflected]

Folks,

 

I would like to know how you deal with this. As long as you’re young and live alone/ or with parents, you get to play flight sims as much as you want. But what if you move in together with your girlfriend, or get married? What about having kids? Those who have a family, how do you align your private life with occasionally climbing into the virtual skies? How do you keep the balance, to satisfy your needs without scaring away your other half with your trackIR hat on, or her getting fed up with it?

 

I’d like to hear some advice.

 

Thanks!

[sallee]

If you have a wife and children I think it not unreasonable to put them before virtual flying. That may be controversial.....

I do stuff around the house anyway which gives me a bit of leeway and it's always helpful to have a stressful job...any excuse for a fly. The lack of opportunity to fly is also a very good excuse for being continually shot down online and it's based on being more mature and responsible than everyone else. so it's win-win.

[MarcoRossolini]

Folks,

 

I would like to know how you deal with this. As long as you’re young and live alone/ or with parents, you get to play flight sims as much as you want. But what if you move in together with your girlfriend, or get married? What about having kids? Those who have a family, how do you align your private life with occasionally climbing into the virtual skies? How do you keep the balance, to satisfy your needs without scaring away your other half with your trackIR hat on, or her getting fed up with it?

 

I’d like to hear some advice.

 

Thanks!

 

 

Interesting news Reflected, best of luck to you.

[=LD=Hethwill]

Weekly events schedule.

 

That's the proper way for family simmers to accommodate a solid amount of hours into the hobby.

 

Let's say Sunday Squadron Afternoons, or Friday Night 1-Life Events, etc

 

That is one way to do it.

 

Another way, for the time being with BoS, is playing 30 - 45 minutes per day doing one SP campaign full expert mission.

 

My little one loves the TrackIR and wants it for every game she plays. I've been schooling her into flying RoF given she likes more not being trapped inside a canopy.

 

...

 

So I always find it strange when folks say they don't have time to spare for the unlocks ( family, friends, etc ) and then spend 4 hours straight in MP...  ( pun intended! )

Edited November 5, 2014 by =LD=Hethwill_Khan

[sallee]

Interesting news Reflected, best of luck to you.

Is this the best planned proposal in the world?

Or, is there some very forward girl still on bended knee waiting for Reflected to come back from "the Bathroom"?

[Reflected]

I didn't say anything about myself I'm just curious how you guys deal with this.

[LLv34_Flanker]

S!

 

 For me it is easy. My boy is 7 years old and after all the chores at home are done, including his homework, it is time for us both to play a bit before watching TV etc. before bed No woman in the household either helps a lot

[Emgy]

For the generations 30?+, there's also the issue with many women not wanting you to be "weird and nerdy" and playing computer games. Of course TIR and HOTAS makes it worse. But this is changing with the younger generations, girls are into gaming or at least more understanding of guys who want to game (or sim) instead of watching some braindead TV show.

 

In House of Cards, in the first season, Frank is playing console shooters to relax. Second season, he's painting US Civil War miniature soldiers, and Claire goes "at least it's better than video games." Common attitude, but this will (slowly) change with new generations. WoW and Sims was a gateway for a lot of female gamers. 

 

Of course there are exceptions in all age groups.

Edited November 5, 2014 by Calvamos

[Chuck_Owl]

Some time ago, the Lady kept making fun of me with my silly track IR and my "video game plane thing"... she kept saying she didn't understand why a grown-ass man could keep playing that sort of stuff while talking to people... but when I brought her to an airshow with the P-40, P-51, Spitfire Mk IX & XVI, F-18, Lancaster and F-86 flying together with the crowd roaring in unison during each low pass... she kinda understood where this "nerdiness" came from and she eventually accepted it was a part of me.

 

I honestly don't know much about car models... but I sure as hell know some things about airplanes. 

Edited November 5, 2014 by 71st_AH_Chuck

[VBF-12_Stick-95]

I see simming as a hobby just like golfing, fishing, etc.  Hobbies are part of who we are.  Hobbies should not dominate our lives nor should they be expected to be eliminated.  I think scheduling is the key to keeping things in perspective.

 

The fact of the matter is, flight sims are fairly home friendly.  Golf, fishing and many hobbies remove you from the house for hours at a time.  If flying, your significant other has ready access to you.

 

Also, from a cost standpoint, simming is relatively inexpensive.  Many other hobbies are much more expensive.

[SYN_Mike77]

Balance is the key. I'm lucky in that my job affords me the afternoons to play (which happens to be evening for Europe so it's a win-win for me). Evenings are together time. As far as what she thinks about me playing silly games...it's cheaper than golf (my dads hobby) safer and cheaper than guns (her dads hobby) and a hellofa lot better than hanging out in bars!

[Charlo-VR]

Here are two things that can help:

 

- encourage/support the spouse's gaming. My wife actually spends more time gaming than I do because she plays them on her iPad. I kind of encouraged her to try some games and now she is hooked (it helps her relax from her very difficult job).

 

- if a child is very young, you can give him or her an unconnected game controller and pretend he or she is helping you fly in your sim. They really buy into it and it's adorable. I've also set up my Voice Attack to interact with my nieces and nephews.

[II./JG27_Rich]

Private life is sim life................I'M SUCH A LOSER ...WAAA WAAA

[VR-DriftaholiC]

My advice is don't tie yourself down to someone that doesn't support your hobbies if you aren't willing to make sacrifices to be with them. Either they are willing to support your need to play at certain events or you're willing to sacrifice missing them if neither are the case then it's difficult to justify a relationship like that. So many fish in the sea. I'm not supporting tearing a family apart over simming, any real man would put his children over himself in any situation.  

Edited November 5, 2014 by driftaholic

[1./KG4_Blackwolf]

I told the Redhead(that's what I call her) long ago I could be spending a few hours an evening with a goofy TIR hat on or down at the bar... She likes my TIR hat!  

It works if you balance it out ,spend a few hours on line..you better spend a few with her too. I remember in one mission on 1946 in the heat of battle one pilot said "Dudes my wife is standing in the doorway with nothing on but a smile" We all replied..bye , see ya, auger in and see you next time. He lost a few kills and some points but I doubt he cared! She knew how to stop the hobby when she wanted I guess!   

[Finkeren]

My wife was happy when I gave up World Of Warcraft, flight sims don't bother her that much in comparison, except when I occasionally go buy a new HOTAS. Even though she doesn't really 'understand' my hobby, she understands my needs and do her best to acommodate them. We both have a need for what we call 'bubble time', where we close ourselves off from the world to be with our favourite passtimes/guilty pleasures. Flight simming fits in there perfectly.

 

The issue right now is actually my daughter: Even though I don't usually fly while she's home and awake, she's become quite aware of what daddys black machine with the blinking lights does. She's very much into airplanes (don't look at me, I didn't force it on her) and a couple of times a week, she'll drag me over to the PC and demand "Far! Flyvemaskine!" (Dad! Airplane!) I tell you it's not easy grinding XP in BoS with a two year old sitting on your lap clawing at the joystick

 

At last a bit of advice, if you're a young, budding flight simmer and you've just started seeing someone and wonder how to break your additiction to her/him, here's what you do: Make up the weirdest, freakiest sex act you can think of - something along the lines of dressing up like Spiderman and defecating on your lover while shouting "Eat my webs, Green Goblin!" - tell her/him you're into that, and then as she/he freaks out, say: "Just kidding, I'm a flight simmer!"

 

That'll soften the blow

Edited November 6, 2014 by Finkeren

[FlatSpinMan]

Make up the weirdest, freakiest sex act you can think of - something along the lines of dressing up like Spiderman and defecating on your lover while shouting "Eat my webs, Green Goblin!" - tell her/him you're into that, and then as she/he freaks out, say: "Just kidding, I'm a flight simmer!"

 

That'll soften the blow

 

This really made me laugh. 

And it's such an oddly specific image you ave imagined here, fink. 

[unreasonable]

What is weird about that?

 

Obviously WoW is a problem for a woman, because you might meet a cute elven princess in a chainmail bikini online and be tempted to have disloyal thoughts. Or worse, you might even choose to play as a cute elven princess in a chainmail bikini, which would worry her even more.

 

I have managed to make my Oblivion and Skyrim avatars look very like my gf, which freaked her out, especially when I demonstrated how the avatar could be undressed whenever I wanted. Not approved!

 

Flight simming has been OK with her ever since I showed her the ski-equipped i-16 from one of the IL-2 mods. She thought that plane was adorable, but then Asian women are suckers for anything cute.

 

Honestly though, the most important advice is just to do what you want, because I guarantee you this is what she will do. If you start bending over backwards to accommodate her views on what you should do with your time you open the door to an nightmare of changing demands, which will only end with her despising you for being a wimp.   

[skline00]

Wife, daughters, son-in-laws and grandchildren ALWAYS take priority over a computer game.

[FlatSpinMan]

Agreed, skline, but it's so nice when they leave you alone in the evening to do what you want after bath time, bedtime, etc

[Gambit21]

It's balance. For one thing your spouse needs to feel like you're spending quality time with her.

If you're away all day at work, then spend hours on a sim that's going to cause problems.

 

I spend so many hours working on the computer when I'm done with my day job, taking even more time to fly is something

I tend to do very selectively. That's why I get so little stick time.

 

I try for twice a week for an hour or so. Sometimes 2 weeks might go by though with no stick time at all.

That's just life. It took me some time to 'establish' in my current, now 10 year relationship that this is something I need to do

now and then. It's not that she ever said anything negative about it...she has a way of making me feel bad for doing it

without saying anything at all. That might be self inflicted on my part.

[Finkeren]

This really made me laugh.

And it's such an oddly specific image you ave imagined here, fink.

 

You don't spend 20 years on the Internet without learning a thing or two

[snowsnipersnow_sniper]

 

 

"Honestly though, the most important advice is just to do what you want, because I guarantee you this is what she will do. If you start bending over backwards to accommodate her views on what you should do with your time you open the door to an nightmare of changing demands, which will only end with her despising you for being a wimp.  " 

 

well, that's a clever approach. .... interresting !!       

 

but that one is easier :

 

"it's so nice when they leave you alone in the evening to do what you want after bath time, bedtime, etc "

Edited November 9, 2014 by snowsnipersnow_sniper

[Yakdriver]

Kicked mine out after 3 years.
A computer can be fixed and configured as needed.
reinstalling women... i failed at that.

sent her home to her parents before the warranty expired (marriage).
 

[SYN_Ricky]

When I was married and living with my former wife and my children I'd try to balance things out. I would dedicate one evening per week for gaming and would take the occasion to play more when she was doing something for her own. She wasn't mad at me because I played flight sims, but surely she would have hated it if I had played every night. She even offered me my Track-Ir as a birthday gift.

Now I have my kids at home half of the time, so when they're with me I don't play that often, and when I'm alone, well, I admit I've placed many other activities before flight sommining and gaming in general.

 

So good luck to you, I'd say just how it goes, and don't be afraid to ask her clearly what she thinks about the amount of time you spend gaming. Just because she doesn't anything doesn't mean she's fine with it. Communication is the most important thing.

Edited November 24, 2014 by SYN_Ricky

[Trooper117]

Kids grown up and left home... now have 7 grankids, but the great thing about that is I can 'give them back!'

My good lady has her hobbies and interests and I have mine. If I'm playing flight sims or Combat Mission for example, she will be making a dress or reading...

The important thing though is to find a bit of time each day when you can both be together and enjoy life... easy peesee!

[gavagai]

If she dislikes your hobbies then she's not the one for you.  She will try to change you and you will both end up unhappy.

 

That said, never fly when the dishes are dirty, or when the garbage needs to go out, etc.  Your flying time will decrease a lot if you live with your girlfriend or get married. If you have kids that's another thing entirely.  I've been married 8 years now so the above advice must be OK!