Anyone here is/was in the military?

[LLv34_Flanker]

S!

 

 You made a rather smelltastic impression on them

[unreasonable]

One of my most embarrassing moments. On excersize, in Denmark, having taken a very satisfying, if incredibaly smelly dump, I opened the door of the toilet, releasing the oder within, to find myself confronted by several, very attractive, Danish female soldiers all queuing to use the toilet. Needless to say I made myself scarce rather quickly. Unisex toilets, very un-British and not to be recommended.

 

You had "toilets" on exercise? With doors!  No wonder the rest of the world thinks Europe is decadent. 

[HagarTheHorrible]

You had "toilets" on exercise? With doors!  No wonder the rest of the world thinks Europe is decadent.

 

You had "toilets" on exercise? With doors!  No wonder the rest of the world thinks Europe is decadent.

 

It was an exercise HQ for umpires, of which I was one, based in a Danish barracks, it was a real fun two weeks. I was simply passing through and availing myself of the facilities. The biggest PITA though was that while I was enjoying my personal troop movement some bugger nicked the windscreen wipers off my Landrover . I was distinctly unimpressed.

 

Talking of troop movements, a mate of mine was very scathing of the Argentinian troops in the Falklands. Being Sappers one of our jobs, naturally, was finding and disarming mines. The entrenched Argentinian troops, rather than use one communal poo point, would just lift a turf, poo, and then replace the turf . This made probing for mines even more unpleasant, if that is indeed possible.

[DD_Arthur]

@Hagar;  Northern Norway, February 1983;  after a hard day playing toy soldiers our beloved section leader Corporal X aka "here comes the bastard now" leaves the Naafi in Asegarden to flop into his pit.  The combination of eight pints of Youngers Tartan bitter and  -20 temperature goes straight to his bladder and he decides to take an immediate leak against some large galvanised dustbins outside.

 

Fumbling in the dark, he manages to fall against the bin and freeze his foreskin to it.    After a few minutes of shouting for help the rest of the troop emerge from the Naafi and our sympathy is er...unalloyed!

It is decided that Corporal X and the bin must be taken to the sick bay for treatment.  Unfortunately the bin is full of half a hundred weight of crap and after some screaming it becomes obvious it must be emptied before the patient can be moved for treatment. 

 

Soon our very decent company commander emerges from the mess after enjoying a good dinner and under his direction both corporal and bin are rotated through 180 degrees thus lightening the load and showering our section leader with the contents of the bin.   .    

 

The next morning I awake to find myself and several others can barely speak as we've laughed ourselves hoarse the previous evening.  The lid of the bin, after being highly polished,  was displayed on the wall of the Corporals Club back in Arbroath for several weeks thereafter.      

[HagarTheHorrible]

@Hagar;  Northern Norway, February 1983;  after a hard day playing toy soldiers our beloved section leader Corporal X aka "here comes the bastard now" leaves the Naafi in Asegarden to flop into his pit.  The combination of eight pints of Youngers Tartan bitter and  -20 temperature goes straight to his bladder and he decides to take an immediate leak against some large galvanised dustbins outside.

 

Fumbling in the dark, he manages to fall against the bin and freeze his foreskin to it.    After a few minutes of shouting for help the rest of the troop emerge from the Naafi and our sympathy is er...unalloyed!

It is decided that Corporal X and the bin must be taken to the sick bay for treatment.  Unfortunately the bin is full of half a hundred weight of crap and after some screaming it becomes obvious it must be emptied before the patient can be moved for treatment. 

 

Soon our very decent company commander emerges from the mess after enjoying a good dinner and under his direction both corporal and bin are rotated through 180 degrees thus lightening the load and showering our section leader with the contents of the bin.   .    

 

The next morning I awake to find myself and several others can barely speak as we've laughed ourselves hoarse the previous evening.  The lid of the bin, after being highly polished,  was displayed on the wall of the Corporals Club back in Arbroath for several weeks thereafter.

 

You weren't 59 by any chance ?

[DD_Arthur]

You weren't 59 by any chance ?

 

No m8.  45 Commando.  I have read that this will be part of the armed forces handed over to a newly independent Scotland if Alex Salmond pulls it off next week.

 

I can't quite see how this sort of stuff is going to work in practice?

[SOLIDKREATE]

@Hagar;  Northern Norway, February 1983;  after a hard day playing toy soldiers our beloved section leader Corporal X aka "here comes the bastard now" leaves the Naafi in Asegarden to flop into his pit.  The combination of eight pints of Youngers Tartan bitter and  -20 temperature goes straight to his bladder and he decides to take an immediate leak against some large galvanised dustbins outside.

 

Fumbling in the dark, he manages to fall against the bin and freeze his foreskin to it.    After a few minutes of shouting for help the rest of the troop emerge from the Naafi and our sympathy is er...unalloyed!

It is decided that Corporal X and the bin must be taken to the sick bay for treatment.  Unfortunately the bin is full of half a hundred weight of crap and after some screaming it becomes obvious it must be emptied before the patient can be moved for treatment. 

 

Soon our very decent company commander emerges from the mess after enjoying a good dinner and under his direction both corporal and bin are rotated through 180 degrees thus lightening the load and showering our section leader with the contents of the bin.   .    

 

The next morning I awake to find myself and several others can barely speak as we've laughed ourselves hoarse the previous evening.  The lid of the bin, after being highly polished,  was displayed on the wall of the Corporals Club back in Arbroath for several weeks thereafter.      

 

 

:lol:   I what his nickname is now?

[Cybermat47]

we've laughed ourselves hoarse

 

As have I, great story

[AceRevo]

1 year. 

[sasser8038]

5 half years in the US army aircraft structure repair. good luck with cadet school

[GP*]

I was just wondering if anyone here has military experience.

I myself am going to try to join the Australian Air Force Cadets (AAFC) in February

Absolutely do it. You'll find out whether or not the military is for you.

 

As for joining the military, for some it's the best decision they made, while others can't wait to get out. It's all about expectations management and the right attitude. At times it will be awful, but most times you'll be doing things that most people can only imagine...especially if you get into aviation.

 

PM me if you have any specific questions.

[TyphoonOneB]

I'm in the AAFC and I strongly recommend that you join us. GREAT experience and helps to give an impression if you want to join the the Air Force. Go on as many activities as you can and enjoy your time, you'll meet plenty of new and colourful people as well!

[Cybermat47]

CCF at school?  Blimey!  Was it like this Sallee?

 

 

 

'Ere, Cybermat; you want to watch this.  It's a great film!

Sorry for the late reply, but I only recently watched this movie.

 

I don't think I understood it, but I certainly enjoyed it. Malcom McDowell was great, although it seems his early acting career was full of playing crazy young men, like that Alex guy from A Clockwork Orange and Caligula from, well, Caligula.

 

BTW, thanks everyone who's encouraged me to join the AAFC. I should be able to apply in December, and if I get through, start in February.

[Cybermat47]

Thought I'd just make a (late) update; I got into the AAFC

[Bearcat]

Congratulations Matt.. ! :salute: :salute: :salute: :salute:

[6./ZG26_Emil]

I wouldn't want my kids joining the military and being involved in these dodgy and pointless wars. If our military was about national security and defense then I'd be all for it.

[Cybermat47]

Well, a little over 1 year as a Cadet, and I've flown in an operational military aircraft, learnt firearms safety, made new friends, and grown more confident. Perhaps a bit more mature, too. I'm damn glad I joined.

 

I'm also looking at joining the RAAF. Being a pilot would be great, but I'm not sure if I'll be able to get that position, given the high standards and competetiveness for such a role. Still, I'd like to work with aircraft, so being on the maintenance side of things would be great as well.

[Mastermariner]

Sooner or later you want to leave the military life so make sure you invest your time in something that will be useful in the real world. Toting a gun isn’t!

Master

[Cybermat47]

Sooner or later you want to leave the military life so make sure you invest your time in something that will be useful in the real world. Toting a gun isn’t!

Master

Well, being a pilot or learning to maintain a plane would come in handy if I sought a job with one of the commercial airlines.

[216th_Lucas_From_Hell]

Not military but from a military family (AF), I must disagree on the 'everybody wants to leave eventually'. It can be a career for life, so long as you have focus and the will to be the best you can at what you do.

[Bando]

Proud to serve!

 

Been in the navy all my life.

Was a crew member on naval helo's for some 15 years as my passion for hunting submarines grew.

Been sailing the world a couple of times :-) Been doing a lot of bad weather flying and sailing, mainly SAR (on the flying part).

Last assignment was shore based in the Carib.

 

I retired some 2 years ago.

[Brano]

Advantage of early retirement is a thing to consider;)

During my army service one officer offered me a career position in logistics for paratroopers brigade. I refused immediately, telling him that I would rather dig trenches then throw myself voluntarily out of airplane :D

[Heliopause]

Little over 5 years in the Dutch Airforce (helicopter maintenance).

[LukeFF]

 

 

Toting a gun isn’t!

 

It certainly is, if he wanted to go into some sort of security-related career.  

[6./ZG26_Emil]

It certainly is, if he wanted to go into some sort of security-related career.  

 

When I worked in North Africa especially Algeria we would have what was called an Operations Liaison Co-ordinators (iirc) on each oil rig and on our bases in the desert. His role was to communicate with the Algerian military, get daily security briefs and was generally responsible for the ex-pats safety. It was his call if we were to be evacuated in case of a terrorist attack. Many of them had medical experience and were mostly ex British army or French Foreign legion. I think that would be an ok security job, I think some of the guys who did close security in Iraq/Afghanistan must have been nuts or adrenaline junkies because from what I was told it was very dangerous and they didn't have remotely the same level of backup and protection our military has when deployed. A lot of those guys got killed and wounded but you would never know by reading the media which refuses to even report about that. There's loads of different kinds of jobs in security with different levels of risk and it was sure a booming business back then.

Edited April 11, 2016 by 6./ZG26_Emil

[707shap_Srbin]

Artillery sergeant courses in Saratov, then with rank of sergeant - was sent to Siberia, to 74 Guards OMSBr, and served with Aititank Division.

My beauty:

 

 

Fire exercises:

Edited April 10, 2016 by 1./ZG1_Panzerbar

[Guest deleted@103832]

Four years in infantry and 19 years in Special Forces. I never flew a plane but I jumped out of lots of them. 

[Original_Uwe]

8 years Army infantry.

If nothing else it sets you up personally for success and teaches s lot of lessons civies will never learn.

You'll be a better man for it OP!