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A teenager brought home her new boyfriend to meet her parents, and they were appalled by his appearance: leather jacket, motorcycle boots, tatoos and a pierced nose. Later, the parents pulled their daughter aside and
said "He doesn't seem very nice." "Mom," replied the daughter, "if he wasn't so nice, why would he be doing 5000 hours of community service?"

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An old, blind Marine wanders into an all-girl biker bar by mistake.
He finds his way to a bar stool and orders a shot of Jack Daniels.
After sitting there for a while, he yells to the bartender, 'Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke?'

The bar immediately falls absolutely silent.

In a very deep, husky voice, the woman next to him says,

'Before you tell that joke I think it is only fair, given that you are blind, that you should know five things:

1. The bartender is a blonde girl with a baseball bat.

2. The bouncer is a blonde girl.

3. I'm a 6-foot tall, 175-pound blonde woman with a black belt in karate.

4. The woman sitting next to me is blonde and a professional weight lifter.

5. The lady to your right is blonde and a professional wrestler.

Now, think about it seriously, do you still wanna tell that blonde joke?'

The blind Marine thinks for a second, shakes his head and mutters, 'No...not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times.'

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A Mother is called to the school over her daughters behavior. "She was caught in the restroom eating candy." Said the principal.
"Well send her in and lets talk to her." Said the mother.
A girl enters the room and the mother says, "That's not my daughter."
The principal replied, "No, this is candy."

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An old prostitute tells her plastic surgeon that she wants her vaginal lips reduced in size because they were too loose and floppy. Out of embarrassment she insisted that the surgery be kept a secret and the surgeon agreed.
Awakening from the anesthesia after the surgery she found 3 roses carefully placed beside her on the bed.
Outraged, she immediately calls in the doctor, "I thought I asked you not to tell anyone about my operation!"
The surgeon told her he had carried out her wish for confidentiality and that the first rose was from him: "I felt sad because you went through this all by yourself."
"The second rose is from my nurse. She assisted me in the surgery and empathized because she had the same procedure done some time ago."
"And what about the third rose?" she asked.
"That's from a man upstairs in the burn unit. He wanted to thank you for his new ears."

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  • 2 weeks later...
On 2/20/2021 at 7:20 PM, Uufflakke said:

 

A couple of days ago I saw the cartoon and I didn't get it what it was about. :scratch_one-s_head:

Until today. :dash:

 

 

I didn't get it either.  Mrs von Tom got it straight away. The joke that is - with 3 kids including twins the other has no chance.

 

von Tom

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     I have found this short film to be very entertaining! It tells the World War I story of a local rugby club whose members have been denied active duty military service because of physical and medical conditions. Upon learning of a planned German Invasion, they form an ad hoc squadron using salvaged aircraft and fly off to prevent the invasion.

 

 

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